I remember when I was pregnant with Mr D I had headed our for dinner with some friends. I was in the early stages of the pregnancy and Damian and I were waiting for the scan to tell people our news. When I joked that I wasn’t drinking because I was pregnant my friends laughed. Such a mad idea that I would ever have children it seemed.
Well, lo and behold, as Mr D turned three in October I held that little secret again – I was in those first early stages of pregnancy.
Miss E followed Mr D quickly – their age gap is 16 months and we always wanted our children close together. Miss E had a terrible sleep pattern and the thought of introducing a third baby into the mix was not on the cards. However, as Mr D was reaching his third birthday we decided that we would like to think about a third baby. Things happened immediately (we are that annoying couple who get pregnant straight away, all three times!) and we will, assuming all things go to plan, be welcoming our third child in June. For four(ish) months we will have three under four.
We always knew that as long as I stayed healthy during Miss E’s pregnancy we would have another; Damian would have an unlimited number I am sure, and I know he quite likes the idea of four, but, for me at least, three feels like it might be our number. But never say never and all that. Three is already providing an enormous headache around car seats and cars that I’m not sure I can even begin to comprehend with four!
I have the general anxiety that anyone has around the whole giving birth and the such; I guess this is just natural. My main anxieties are around staying healthy and avoiding too much medical intervention. Having had pre-eclampsia with Mr D I am automatically a ‘high risk’ pregnancy meaning I have to see consultants at 20 weeks and possibly have additional scans and further appointments later down the line. I am hopeful I will stay healthy and have a normal birth as I did with Miss E (and Mr D to a lesser extent).
My second concerns are about the speed that things might progress. My labour with Mr D was less than three hours and Miss E was super quick – literally 30-40 minutes. I have visions of Damian having to deliver this one. Although I keep reminding myself that each pregnancy and labour is different, so I guess I will just have to wait and see how things go.
The first trimester of this pregnancy has been strange. I’ve had days where I have felt so queasy but can’t actually be sick. Days where I felt fine and almost like I’m not pregnant (which then leads to worries about if all OK). There have been days early on where I have been enormous due to bloating and days where I have been beyond tired. Even now as I near the 16 week mark I am finding myself still occasionally feeling sickly.
The tiredness is the thing I find the hardest. When pregnant with Mr D I would walk in from work and fall asleep on the bed – if I managed to stay awake for the 20 minute train journey home! With Miss E I would get in bed with Mr D in the afternoon – ensuring I got a good 2-3 hour nap. Making it all seem more bearable. However this time around having two energetic children means that time to rest has been minimal. That coupled with the general business of Christmas means that I am still feeling the effects of the tiredness, but it is easing a little at least now.
In some ways the month of illness hit at a good time as it meant that the children were sleeping off their viruses anyway so I could get some much needed sleep in without feeling too guilty.
I thought I recalled just how bone crushing the tiredness is. I hadn’t. Nothing can ever prepare for how truly terrible it is, for me at least. There have been times when I have had to literally stop and sleep; times I’ve had to resort to putting the TV on for thirty minutes knowing that that will buy me a 20 minute nap. Days when I have almost cried I’ve been that bone achingly tired. Days when the minute Damian has walked in I have had to get a bath. Days when as soon as I’ve sat down in the evening I’ve fallen asleep. And there is no pattern to when the tiredness hits. I can have the busiest day ever and feel fine but then have a quiet day and find myself totally and utterly exhausted, and even that word, exhausted, doesn’t cover it!
I’m hopeful that as we are reaching the new year time and the 16ish week mark the tiredness will begin to finally subside as normal routines and eating patterns and habits are returned. Maybe I’ll reach that ‘blooming’ stage, although I’m not sure I have ever really bloomed in pregnancy!