Collaborative Post
Having children comes hand in hand with a lifetime of responsibility. In fact, being a good parent to your little ones is probably the most important thing you can do in your life. From the moment they are born, they should become your central focus. You need to ensure their physical wellbeing, mental wellbeing, emotional wellbeing and encourage positive behavioural patterns within them. But knowing how to be a good parent isn’t something that we’re taught. When you have children, you don’t receive lessons on how to do the best for them. So, if you’re feeling a little lost, or are looking for some guidance, here’s some information that can help you to provide your child with the best upbringing you possibly can!
Be Caring and Supportive
The most important role of a parent is to be caring and supportive. It’s important that your child knows they have someone in this world who they can always turn to, who will always be there for them and who will always have their best interests in mind. All too many parents fail to make this strong and necessary emotional bond with their children – and their little ones suffer from it. Of course, not all of us are naturally open, emotionally intimate or empathetic. But these are skills you need to learn to ensure your child grows up emotionally stable and so they can have positive and comfortable relationships with others later in life. It’s a good idea to learn your child’s love language early on in life. When people talk about love languages, they are often talking about adult romantic relationships, but love languages apply to showing all forms of affection and care to all sorts of people in your life. Put simply, not everyone expresses their emotions in the same way. Some of us feel that different things show care and affection and will appreciate some gestures more than others. Knowing how your child expresses and wants to receive notions of love and care can help you cater to their needs. There are five common love languages that people tend to have. These are:
- Words of affirmation – if your child has this love language, they will appreciate being told how much you care about them. You should use your words to let them know you are there for them, to encourage them, to make them feel supported. Talking is often the best thing you can do with this sort of child.
- Acts of service – if your child appreciates acts of service, it means that they understand actions better than words. They will feel loved if you show them small gestures that show you are thinking about them. You can help them with tasks they’re struggling with, such as homework. You can play games with them. You can help them with something they want to learn more about and other thoughtful acts.
- Receiving gifts – obviously, most children enjoy receiving gifts. But some children have this as their main love language. They may really appreciate it if you pick some flowers for them in the park, if you pick them up a small treat while you’re in the petrol station, or if you bring home a small present from a trip.
- Quality time – if your partner’s love language is quality time, they like to feel that you’re actively making time for them. Make sure to spend quality time with them when you can. This could be keeping a night free for date night, popping in to see them on their lunch break, or other time.
- Physical touch – some children will show and like to receive affection through physical touch. They might like you to hold their hand, stroke their hair and cuddle them to express your loved to them.
Of course, you should aim to show and exhibit all of these behaviours towards your child. But by learning which one they like the most, you can cater to their love language more specifically and form stronger bonds with them.
Teach Them Responsibility
All children need to learn responsibility. Taking responsibility for your own actions is something that is essential as you grow older. It can help keep you and others safe, as well as becoming important in areas such as relationships, work and more. When asked what traits parents would like their children to have now and as adults, many will include the term “responsibility”. By teaching your child responsibility, they will become more dependable, allowing others to count on them and providing them with the tools to build good personal and professional relationships in later life. It also means that your child will learn to keep their word, keep up with their commitments, accept credit for doing things right, hold their hands up for doing something wrong and generally being accountable for their own behaviour. But how do you teach responsibility? First, you need to make sure that your child has high self-esteem and feels loved. Individuals with these traits are much more likely to be responsible, as they don’t worry that they will lose everything if they make a mistake. Instead, they are much more likely to be open about mistakes, as they do not fear repercussions. Next, you need to make sure that you hold your children accountable for their mistakes, do not tell them off but explain to them why they shouldn’t do it again and encourage them to be sorry for their actions. Finally, you may want to give them something to express responsibility over. Give them small chores and reward them when they do them, but withhold the reward if they do not. If you are considering a pet anyway, you may want to get a small pet. Of course, you need to make sure that you are ready to actually take full ownership and care of the pet on all levels. But you can give your child tasks such as cleaning out their cage, looking after them and checking that they are doing well. Of course, don’t get a pet for the sole reason of teaching your child. They are not toys or tools. They are living sentient beings.
Provide Them With a Good Education
Every child needs a good education. Education can hold open doors of opportunity for your child as they grow older. It can help to steer them in the direction of their interests, build on skills that they are already good at and help with skills that they may not be so confident with. Of course, we all send our kids to school. Chances are, you’ve spent a long time looking at schools in the area and comparing them, settling on the best to suit your children’s needs and with a good reputation and history of test results. But dropping your child off to school isn’t where your involvement in their education ends. Make sure to check in to parents evenings where you can meet their teacher and discuss your child’s performance, as well as their social development and individual development. If any areas are highlighted where they are struggling, you may want to assist them with this yourself (asking the teacher advice on activities and tasks that can help and assisting with homework) or use a private tutor for extra support. There are countless tutors out there, so make sure you know what syllabus your child is taking and make sure the tutor is familiar with it. You can even find KS3 tutors online. Alongside what they’re learning in school, you can educate your child with a whole host of fun activities and games. Find cartoons, games, documentaries and films centered around subjects they’re interested in. Take them on days out to science centers, museums, art galleries and more.
Know How to Deal With Bad Behaviour
Many parents don’t understand how to properly deal with bad behaviour. Many end up shouting, taking things away from their child or other techniques that aren’t actually that effective in regards to controlling your child’s bad behaviour. Instead, you first need to understand your child’s bad behaviour. There are three important aspects to any given behavior:
- Antecedents – these are preceding factors that make a behavior more or less likely to occur. You may have heard this referred to as “triggers”. Learning and anticipating antecedents can help you to prevent misbehavior
- Behaviours – these are the specific actions you are trying to encourage or discourage
- Consequences – these are the results that naturally or logically follow a behavior. They can be positive or negative and have an impact on whether the behaviour is likely to recur or not. The more immediate the consequence, the more powerful it will be.
Make sure to reward good behaviour. Teach children that when they behave badly, it hurts others’ feelings and can result in not being able to do what you want anymore.
As you can see, there really is a lot to bear in mind when it comes to being a good parent. These are just a few of many different areas to focus on. Hopefully, some of the information will come in useful for both you and your child.
