My two under two journey nears an end

My two under two journey nears an end

I can barely believe that my journey with two under two will soon be over. This time two years ago I was in hospital wondering when I would be induced. I had developed pre-eclampsia and didn’t really know what was going to happen. Little did I expect two days later, at 37+3 weeks Daniel would arrive.

Tomorrow he turns two. TWO. How on earth did that happen? So so much has changed in this time. Life is so very different – I took redundancy from work and we had another baby just 16 months later. And on Friday my journey with two under two ends.

As Daniel turns two, things of course won’t change on a day to day basis, I will still be mum to two young children very close in age. I will have a two year old and an eight month old. Both needing my time and attention in similar, but at the same time, different ways.

It’s funny that when we told family and friends that we were expecting Emma, some assumed it wasn’t planned. It was. We had always wanted to have them close together. It has been enormously challenging at times, but we are now at that stage where it is so much fun. They both adore each other. Just the other day we had popped to the supermarket and Emma had fallen asleep on the journey there. I sat them both side by side in the trolley and Daniel gave her a kiss and held her hands as she woke up. Completely unprompted. But so touching.

Emma thinks Daniel is hilarious and will happily watch him and giggle away. She loves it when he is silly and when he does ‘row row row the boat with her.

Over the past eight months I have learnt so much. I thought I would share the things I have learnt about two under two…

two under two

  1. Sometimes, you just have to leave one child to cry. I found this one of the hardest things to accept and when Emma was around a month old I couldn’t help but think what a mistake it all had been – it felt like Daniel had never cried as much as he did in that first month. But, it is simply impossibly to meet both their needs all of the time, and leaving one to cry whilst you see to the other child isn’t the end of the world, although it can feel like it
  2. Your washing machine will never be off! The amount of washing we do is ridiculous; the machine is on every day, whether it be nappies, clothes, bedding, towels etc. Now that Emma is in the weaning stage the washing pile is increasing… which leads me nicely onto…
  3. You will become picky over what actually gets ironed. I used to iron everything. Now I don’t. I used to iron bibs, vests, muslins. Now unless they’re really creased I don’t bother.
  4. Make friends at playgroups – this has been really important. I go to a few regular groups, and the other mums, grandmas etc know that Daniel and Emma are with me. It means that I can let Daniel run around whilst still keeping a watchful eye on Emma and know that other parents there know I have two small children. I also always have someone I can hand Emma to if I need to sort Daniel out.
  5. One to one time with each child is important. I am lucky that I have a lot of support so I have been able to do things with Daniel and Emma on their own. The both need me one to one in different ways so it is important to take time with them where you can
  6. Include your older child as much as you can. Daniel loves to choose Emma’s nappies or get her bibs. He will get her toys and show her books, I am certain this has helped to ensure very little jealousy exists because he is very included
  7. You will never live in a show home. Our house needs so many things doing. We want to replaster the hallway and replace the flooring. We want to redecorate the living room. We want to replace the bathroom. None of these things are likely to happen for a long time as I can’t even begin to think about it with both Daniel and Emma so small. That plus mucky handprints and the toys and books we have strewn about the house means we will never live in a show home!

On Friday my baby boy turns two. No longer a baby but a boisterous noisy toddler. All too quickly Emma will turn one, and I will no longer have a baby but two toddlers. I can’t wait for the next chapter.

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28 Comments

  1. Pauline
    23rd October 2014 / 11:48

    That was really well written, I’m sure you will still have millions of laughs and tears to come! Happy Birthday Daniel. Xx

  2. 23rd October 2014 / 17:19

    excpetional!

  3. 24th October 2014 / 08:16

    They are going to have great fun as they grow up together, lovely post.
    #familyfriday

  4. The DADventurer
    24th October 2014 / 10:32

    Some great points here. It’s hard enough with 1, let alone 2! We’ve given up on ironing to save time and the house is always pretty messy 🙂

  5. 24th October 2014 / 14:18

    Fantastic piece! The amount of times I tell non-parents that it’s sometimes for the best to leave one child crying must make me sound like a monster! Great name for your son by the way 😉 Thanks for joining in again #FamilyFriday

    • 25th October 2014 / 13:33

      thank you – It is horrible having to leave one of them to cry but it is just impossible to meet both their needs at the exact same time!! And yes, he has a super name !! x

  6. 26th October 2014 / 18:18

    That’s lovely. We had 3 under 13 months at one point as my identical twin girls were born when Lily was 13 months old! I feel for all of your points above, but now as they reach 4 and 3 they are starting (sometimes) to be the very best of friends. Thanks for linking up to #sundaystars. Come and join us again next week.

  7. 26th October 2014 / 18:18

    I love this post! My little one is only 7 months but I really want another, I’m shockingly broody. I totally identify with a lot of this already, even with just one – like the never ending washing and not having the house finished, we’re in the same boat xx
    #SundayStars

    • 27th October 2014 / 20:10

      thanks for stopping by and taking the time comment. weirdly I never felt broody before either D or E, but now E is eight months I’m thinking about number 3….

  8. 26th October 2014 / 19:00

    I love this! We also planned children close together, Lily was just 18 months when Declan was born, and then Declan was 2.5 when Harry was born. Lily had just turned 4 when Harry was born so I had 3 under 4, all planned. The amount of looks and comments we got was unreal, I agree with all your posts, I wish I had more time to spend one on one time with all of my children but unfortunately its not possible as we don’t have a great support network – not that it has hindered us but it would have been nice to have.
    Leaving one of them to cry was the hardest thing for me too, and still is, but it is the only way to stay sane rather than trying to console 2 (or more) children at once.

    • 27th October 2014 / 20:09

      we plan to have another in the not too distant so likely to have 3 under 4… dreading the comments!
      thanks for taking the time to comment x

  9. 26th October 2014 / 19:24

    Yes to all of this!! Great post. I have twins, who have just turned 2, so I know what you mean!! However, as they get older they get easier and I’m finding I have two little helpers around a lot more! Thanks for linking up to #SundayStars this week. Jess x

  10. 26th October 2014 / 21:16

    Brilliant post! This is all so true!

  11. 27th October 2014 / 15:26

    Fab, fab, fab post! I just have one baby at the moment but it’s more than likely we will have our next quite in the next couple of years. I know people tell me how much hard work it is, and I seriously do not doubt them but I’ve always wanted siblings close in age.

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

    • 27th October 2014 / 20:05

      Thanks for stopping by. It is hard but it is SO SO worth it. the hardest thing has been leaving one to cry. I struggle with that. But, its only for a minute or two and they survive it.
      thanks for stopping by
      x

  12. Joanna @mumbalance
    31st October 2014 / 23:10

    Lovely post 🙂 I was born when my sister was only 14 months and it was planned as well. I think it was a great decision my parents made!
    I wanted to do the same, but Little F is already 15 months and there’s no sign of number two. It feels very frustrating. We had Little F just after one ‘go’ so I didn’t think we’d have to wait so long…

    • 2nd November 2014 / 20:44

      Oh no! I hope that Little F soon has a sister or brother on the way! I think there are pros and cons for shorter and longer age gaps, I really do xx

  13. 1st November 2014 / 08:39

    Great post. My children have 50 weeks between them, and I think people thought we were totally crazy, and at times I started to think so too haha. When my daughter was born my son was way too young to get jealous or anything, and neither of them can remember a time when the other one wasn’t there, which I love!
    The only thing I found really difficult was letting one cry while I tended to the other, it’s hard listening to your child cry.

    • 2nd November 2014 / 20:43

      50 weeks! EEK! that is CLOSE. the leaving one to cry is awful but as Emma is now getting older I can see already that they will be great for each other as they grow up xx

  14. Val Pownall
    14th November 2014 / 18:19

    What beautiful children! Lovely to read your post – they will be such good little friends as they grow.

  15. 15th November 2014 / 21:13

    Great post. My two under two journey was only 3 weeks long, but like you say they are still close in age so it is still VERY hard! Unfortunately we have a jealousy issue atm – sure we will work through it though #familyfriday

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