On the one hand I can barely believe that our baby is due next month, but on the other hand I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever. Since 2012 I have been pregnant for over 110 weeks (of a total of 226 weeks). When you add in the whole recovering from pregnancy element too and the various bits and pieces your body goes through to get rid of the pregnancy related ‘stuff’ then I guess it’s no wonder that I feel like this – pregnancy and those six weeks post partum are tough on the body!
I’m getting to a stage now where I look forward to it being over, but at the same time know that I will miss these moments, these moments of just me, Mr D and Miss E, or those moments when it’s just me and the internal one, who kicks away in protest if I don’t go to the loo quickly enough, or if I eat too much or if I wake him/her up with a cold drink. I will miss those moments when I’m in the bath and I can see the ripples across my (ever expanding) belly as s/he responds to the water being poured over. There really is something magical about pregnancy, and if you stop and think about it too long it all seems a bit impossible.
At my last check the midwife agreed that there didn’t seem to be anything that would, at the moment, prohibit a home birth so I have provisionally booked a pool to use and have registered an interest in popping along to a home birth meeting at the end of the month. I’m back to see my midwife next week and then at the consultant the following week. The consultant appointment will, I am sure, see me be an absolute bundle of nerves as it is that appointment that I was found to have pre-eclampsia with Mr D and ultimately got admitted to hospital. I still find it quite difficult to talk about that appointment, which is silly, so I’m hoping that this one passes without incident and then it is countdown to arrival day.
I have washed and sorted out the clothes that were stored in the loft for the baby, and with the help of the children we have packed the hospital bags. I didn’t have these ready with Mr D and remember having to text and write lists for Damian, my mum and mother in law of the things we just didn’t have yet (and as it was when he arrived my mum ended up having to go and buy tiny baby clothes as the stuff we did have buried him!). I’ve got everything sorted in the new bag now and the children had great fun telling the things that ‘tiny baby’ will need and what they will help me with. They like to keep checking that the bag is still in place next to my wardrobe and check that there are all the right things inside.
I just to pick up a pair of loose fitting jogging bottoms for those early post partum days – I was sure I had some from last time around in the loft but can’t find them so I’ll pick up a pair from Primark or the supermarkets in the next week or so. I then just need to get toiletries, snacks and drinks and we are good to go.
I’m also at the stage of beginning to panic about the birth. I have been lucky so far to have short labours with Mr D and Miss E – although Miss E’s was rapid so the prospect of that happening again causes me panic in terms of being on my own with the children (unlikely) or a midwife not getting to me in time. I also know that each labour is different and I worry how I would cope with a long protracted labour. All things that I can’t control, but they’re there at the back of my mind none the less and I need to stop thinking about it I think. I know my body has coped well with labour two other times so far, so there is no reason it shouldn’t this time around.
Sleep is hit and miss – there have been nights recently when I have been awake for most of the night and others where I sleep heavy. I’m needing to recognise when I need to rest now – I forget that when pregnant with Miss E, Mr D was still napping so I had a good few hours in the day when I could snooze or at least just sit and do nothing. I have overdone it a couple of times with cleaning and the such or just generally not listening to my body and resting so I really must stop and sit down. I’m incredibly lucky that my parents are on hand to help us out – they have the children one day this week for me and my mum helps me at the various groups we go to which is a god send at the moment.
Other than general tiredness I feel well – heartburn is annoying but nowhere near as bad as the previous two pregnancies and I’ve not got any swelling (other than when I’ve been on my feet too long). I am getting some dry skin across my tummy this time around, so I need to take care of that, but I’m lucky to have avoided stretch marks, other than those that were already there from first time around.
As I expected, growth of my bump is slowing – last time around I seemed to be bigger early on by after 28ish weeks growth slowed. I’m measuring below average on the various growth charts, but nothing alarming so far and all in line with what would be expected. I still feel big though!