Motherhood – four years on

my reflections on motherhood

Today, as this post goes live on my blog, I’ll be sat watching Mr D open his gifts and bounce around excitedly as he sees that his wishes of a fire station, people with hats to go in the station and a book with maps were honoured.

Today he turns four.

Of course, it’s the words every parent utters, but it is true. Time really does fly. He is a bundle of energy, whizzing around from room to room, place to place soaking up life. I’ve said it before but he really does absorb the world around him. Over the past couple of months both Damian and I have noticed a huge physical change in him. He is all limbs – gone are the chubby arms and legs of toddlerhood and instead he is all long lean limbs that love nothing more than running, climbing, swinging and exploring.

Gone is that tiny baby, that tiny, tiny baby we could hold in one hand. The tiny 5lb 5ounce baby who caused us sleepless nights, colic filled afternoons of tears and worries over why he wasn’t rolling over yet or showing any interest in eating. That tiny baby I spent hours snoozing with or walking with and singing to.

Birthdays are inevitably a time to reflect. A time to remember the baby that was and the boy that he has become. It’s a time to reflect on the little person we are helping to mould. It’s a time to reflect on our own parenting, and as ever wonder if we have made the right choices.

I think whatever the decision; to stay at home or return to work, childminder or nursery, nursery or pre-school, there’s always a worry about ‘what if’ and there are any number of reports to evidence the benefits or otherwise of the effects of mothers that work and mothers that stay at home. What if we had enrolled him at pre-school? What if I had returned to work? How would our life be different and how would the children be different? Everyone does, I am sure, have these ‘wobbles’ from time to time but I think I am always pretty confident in our choices and feel sure that we have made the right choices for us. There aren’t many things I’d change in our life right now.

As I listened to him make his plans for his party, all carefully thought out in his mind I am so proud of the considered and caring boy he has become. I love the thought process he put in place to explain the things he wanted to do. As I put him to bed and took that final picture as a three year old he asked me, at least four times, if tomorrow really was his birthday. His face when he realised that yes, it REALLY is was lovely to see. We have cautioned against expecting all the things he has asked for being there in the morning – there are certainly things he has asked for that we haven’t bought him. But I know that when he comes in to our room in the morning he will quietly ask if it really is his birthday and when he knows that it REALLY REALLY is, he will be so, so excited.my reflections on motherhood four years on

Motherhood, four years on, has taught me a lot. It’s taught me huge amounts about how we, as humans, develop and it’s given me a renewed interest in politics (although I am often found immensely frustrated at the un-family friendly policies that are continuously created). It’s taught me that I can be pretty creative when given some wrapping paper and paper bags. It’s taught me that there is a huge amount of stuff going on in my local community; be it model railway shows, scarecrow festivals or simply beautiful places to walk. It’s made me realise that I can function pretty well on limited sleep, early starts and non stop work.

Being a mother has made me get up and get out on those days when, really, I don’t want to. It’s made me less selfish and made me realise that my house isn’t going to be tidy until the children all move out! and that the washing pile really is endless and don’t even get me started on the ironing. It’s made me take contentment in the small things – be it seeing the delight that a cardboard box can bring or listening to the shouts of ‘is anybody poorly – I want to be a Doctor’.

It’s made me realise that really, children don’t need much. They want time and the space to be children. The time and space to explore their world and make sense of it. It’s made me realise that I am happy with the choices we have made. Our approach as a family to early learning seems to be paying off as he shows an ever increasing understanding about the world around him as well as being able to explain and recount information we have taught him. I am pleased that we have, so far at least, managed to keep his love of books alive and can’t wait to sit with him tomorrow to explore the many books that I know he will unwrap tomorrow.

Motherhood has taught me that I am doing the job I really want to do. And I wouldn’t change it for a thing.

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18 Comments

  1. 24th October 2016 / 10:08

    Oh wow that made my cry. You’re doing a fantastic job. Daniel is a joy and a very happy little boy. x x

  2. Pauline
    24th October 2016 / 11:32

    That’s a really nice piece Sarah. He is a delight, funny clever, inquisitive and fun to be with, as are all the children are.

    Have a lovely day. I’m sure you will. Lots of love Pauline x

  3. 24th October 2016 / 22:27

    Lovely post Sarah, I hope he had a great day xxx

  4. 8th November 2016 / 09:16

    What a lovely post. Motherhood really does teach us so much and one of the big ones for me (as it sounds like for you) is that it changes what we value. I notice the small things more than ever before. #twinklytuesday

  5. 8th November 2016 / 09:38

    Such a lovely post! #TwinklyTuesday

  6. 8th November 2016 / 10:56

    The time really flies! #TwinklyTuesday

  7. Caroline (Becoming a SAHM)
    8th November 2016 / 12:16

    Lovely post and it is amazing how much parenthood changes you and like you I wouldn’t have it any other way! X

  8. 8th November 2016 / 16:57

    Oh my goodness this has made me really emotional – something to do with the fact that my baby (yes, he will always be my baby!!!) is four in 5 weeks! How has it gone so fast?!
    I totally relate to everything you have written. Lovely post. I hope he had a great birthday. #twinklytuesday

    • 8th November 2016 / 19:54

      aww thank you – the time does fly doesn’t it? Hope you enjoy the day next week x

  9. 14th November 2016 / 19:44

    Ahh this is so beautiful. Zach is 4 now too and amazing even though he drives me mad (something to do with having his new brother me thinks!). It is so wonderful watching them grow isn’t it? Such a lovely emotive posy. Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

  10. 15th November 2016 / 20:04

    What a wonderful post! Happy birthday to your little guy. I think the thing that always sticks with me about motherhood is children’s ability to find the joy in the little things – I find it so uplifting on a daily basis. Thanks so much for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  11. 16th November 2016 / 13:13

    Oh I love this! My daughter turned four in August and I was really reflective of my time as a mum. She was starting school a few weeks later and was such a milestone in her life. Having children has definitely given me more get up and go and I see life through their eyes. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

  12. 17th November 2016 / 09:54

    This is such a beautiful read. Motherhood really does teach you the important things in life.
    #SharingtheBlogLove

  13. 17th November 2016 / 10:01

    What a stunningly beautiful post, as mummy to a nine year old and a baby I’m all too aware this time of how quickly those moments pass by, if only we could hold onto them just a little bit longer #SharingtheBlogLove

  14. 17th November 2016 / 11:23

    Oh gosh this made me cry too! So beautiful and as a Mummy to a four year old I can relate to it all. Thank you for sharing #sharingthebloglove

  15. 18th November 2016 / 16:02

    Beautiful words – birthdays are always a time for reflection. We had our fair share of colicky afternoons and snoozy ones too! x

  16. 18th November 2016 / 19:32

    What a beautiful post. Time really does fly, my little boy is 7 now and my baby is 2 and yet it seems like two minutes since they were born.
    #SharingtheBlogLove

  17. Family Makes
    22nd November 2016 / 21:55

    What is especially lovely about this post is that your absolute contentment shines through. That is such a rare thing, and you are very lucky to have it. I can tell that you already know this, and that you will treasure every moment. #SharingtheBlogLove

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