How strange it feels to be halfway through this pregnancy. I suppose it’s inevitable that a second pregnancy means that you focus less on the changes taking place… I know the aches are normal, I know those little flutterings are my baby turning and kicking and the ever growing bump isn’t a new thing to me.
In some ways, it feels like we aren’t taking as much notice of this baby. Things are routine, almost, and whilst never feeling complacent that things will continue normally (they won’t and I know that) I am, in some ways, more relaxed this time. I suppose not having to juggle work and sort out maternity leave and finishing dates helps.
This is me at 20 weeks… I’m sure the growth has slowed from what felt like a very rapid spurt early on!
and this is the baby, taken yesterday at 20+2….
It never fails to amaze me that that perfectly formed little being is inside me, is dependent upon me to make the right choices and do the right things.
That’s a huge responsibility and it weighs heavy sometimes as I am to face up to the choices I will need to make over the coming weeks about the delivery/birth of this baby. Prior to the scan yesterday I was really anxious, convinced something wasn’t right. There was a moment of shared panic for my husband and I as the sonographer seemed to spend an awful long time studying the baby’s heart… but it seems that the baby just wasn’t co-operating very well and she was unable to get the measurements and view she needed for a while. I think this time round I am more aware of the bad things that can happen after my pre-eclampsia and Daniel being poorly.
But, for now, all seems well and our little one is growing well. We left the gender a surprise, as we did with Daniel. We have both said though we think the baby is a girl, although I now think it may be a boy! in another 20 ish weeks we will find out!
Next week I have appointments with two consultants, where I hope to get that changed to being under one consultant…. and I should have more of an idea about how my body is behaving (or not!) this time around, and have some clearer information about birth choices.